The fun with the good folks at UCLH continues unabated, albeit at a much slower pace than Medway (seriously, everything takes even longer!). Now that part of my brain has been trained by the NHS to have very low expectations, the long gaps between anything happening are starting to feel normal; it is just the way the NHS works, or not............
After the fun with the "walk-in" / "Drop-in" clinic last week, two letters arrived on Tuesday: one giving me an appointment for the walk-in pre-assessment clinic (done it), the other informing me that I would have a biopsy in the day surgery unit on 10th February at 07:30 and inviting me to telephone the "Pathway Co-ordinator" to confirm that I would go. Easy........?
Telephoned the number, engaged. Telephoned again, engaged. Telephoned again, engaged. This went on for a good 10 minutes, then the the other end crackled into life; an answerphone with a promise that I would be called back within 48 hours! Left my details.
Half an hour later, I could not resist trying again. This time, the phone was answered by a pleasant woman to whom I confirmed my intention to attend. I asked her whether there was someone I could talk to about not wanting to be sedated for the procedure. Her answer was almost that she had received a call from the per-assessment nurse to let the team know that I do not wish to be sedated and that an email had been sent to them, but that I could not talk directly to the team until the day of the biopsy. She threw in a gratuitous "if you have a high pain threshold". Wow, talk about putting someone at their ease.
II would like to think that on the day, people will listen to me, provide entonox or something similarly short acting and I will be home by coffee time. Unfortunately I have a vision of how it will really play out which involves a stroppy clinical team telling me that I have to sedated with IV drugs and that entonox is not an option..................we shall see.
As for a song, hard to think of something suitable. The title of this one should be the NHS anthem.......
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_IGIMtfLrm0
Friday 23 January 2015
Wednesday 14 January 2015
Pre-assessment!
I was in London on business today, so thought that I would pop in to the "walk in" pre-assessment clinic and get that bit out of the way. Tedious, but once you are in the clutches of the NHS you will be heavily penalised for not following the rules! I figured that once I had been through this, they will have no excuse not to book me in for the next part of the journey: the biopsy.
Arrived at the shiny reception are in the main hospital and asked directions to the pre-assessment clinic. Oh dear................. the answer one dreads: "the what?". I explained again and the young man asked me for the usual formula of name, rank and serial number. He fiddled with his computer terminal and informed me that I did not have an appointment booked today, or indeed any future appointment booked. Fortunately I was rescued by the young lady sitting next to him who did know about the clinic and gave me directions to it.
Feeling lazy, I thought that I would take the lift. Mistake! If you are on the ground floor of UCLH and want a lift, it involves a long wait. Not being good on the patience front, I went up the stairs.
Found the clinic and walked in (as per instruction). Waited for the receptionists to finish whatever it was they were doing at the time and explained that I had dropped in to get my pre-assessment for a biopsy. "Oh, this is not a drop-in clinic, it is a walk-in clinic and we are not expecting you". The difference between "drop-in" and "walk-in" was lost on me, but it was obviously very important to the staff. "I will have to take advice; please take a seat and complete one of these forms". Progress! At least I had not been thrown out and had been given something to do..............I joined the 3 other people sitting in the waiting area.
Much muttering behind the reception desk between the receptionist and someone sitting behind a screen.............. 2 minutes later a healthcare assistant called my name, introduced herself and whisked me off to a small room. Blood pressure and sats taken, blood extracted, a few questions and returned to the waiting area having been told that another nurse would come for me in a few minutes.
Sure enough, a few minutes later, a door opened and a staff nurse called my name. She went through a long list of questions about my health and it became obvious that I was being assessed for an anaesthetic of some kindwhen she asked me who would collect me after the biospy . I asked and was told that the form from the doctor said I was going to be sedated and that they would not let me out of the building afterwards unless someone came to collect me. I patiently explained that I do not "do" sedation, but will be quite happy with access to entonox (gas and air). Oh dear, I was not playing the game again..............
Fortunately, this was a very nice nurse and we had already had a good conversation about the NHS, her son's problems, my former employment in the NHS etc. She assured me that she would send an email to the relevant team explaining that this particular victim wished to remain sentient throughout and would reject intravenous sedation. We shall see if this produces a positive result................
Less than an hour from entry to exit. I think that this might be a new record!
Today's song. Funny how titles stay in the brain after all these years.......
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ImVlwiuMQk
If that was a little too hardcore for you, another version (unfortunately after the band "went off")
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDciFvBG8a4
Arrived at the shiny reception are in the main hospital and asked directions to the pre-assessment clinic. Oh dear................. the answer one dreads: "the what?". I explained again and the young man asked me for the usual formula of name, rank and serial number. He fiddled with his computer terminal and informed me that I did not have an appointment booked today, or indeed any future appointment booked. Fortunately I was rescued by the young lady sitting next to him who did know about the clinic and gave me directions to it.
Feeling lazy, I thought that I would take the lift. Mistake! If you are on the ground floor of UCLH and want a lift, it involves a long wait. Not being good on the patience front, I went up the stairs.
Found the clinic and walked in (as per instruction). Waited for the receptionists to finish whatever it was they were doing at the time and explained that I had dropped in to get my pre-assessment for a biopsy. "Oh, this is not a drop-in clinic, it is a walk-in clinic and we are not expecting you". The difference between "drop-in" and "walk-in" was lost on me, but it was obviously very important to the staff. "I will have to take advice; please take a seat and complete one of these forms". Progress! At least I had not been thrown out and had been given something to do..............I joined the 3 other people sitting in the waiting area.
Much muttering behind the reception desk between the receptionist and someone sitting behind a screen.............. 2 minutes later a healthcare assistant called my name, introduced herself and whisked me off to a small room. Blood pressure and sats taken, blood extracted, a few questions and returned to the waiting area having been told that another nurse would come for me in a few minutes.
Sure enough, a few minutes later, a door opened and a staff nurse called my name. She went through a long list of questions about my health and it became obvious that I was being assessed for an anaesthetic of some kindwhen she asked me who would collect me after the biospy . I asked and was told that the form from the doctor said I was going to be sedated and that they would not let me out of the building afterwards unless someone came to collect me. I patiently explained that I do not "do" sedation, but will be quite happy with access to entonox (gas and air). Oh dear, I was not playing the game again..............
Fortunately, this was a very nice nurse and we had already had a good conversation about the NHS, her son's problems, my former employment in the NHS etc. She assured me that she would send an email to the relevant team explaining that this particular victim wished to remain sentient throughout and would reject intravenous sedation. We shall see if this produces a positive result................
Less than an hour from entry to exit. I think that this might be a new record!
Today's song. Funny how titles stay in the brain after all these years.......
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ImVlwiuMQk
If that was a little too hardcore for you, another version (unfortunately after the band "went off")
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDciFvBG8a4
Wednesday 7 January 2015
The frog gets stuck in another well
Before relating today's tale, a quick follow up on the records I received from Medway hospital. It puzzled me that I received 2 identical discs of images, each marked 1 of 2. This morning I looked at the captions on the images in more detail; the CT scans are there, the bone scans are there, but no MRI images. Looks like someone made a mistake!
Now on to today's fun
I think that I might have mentioned the poor frog stuck in a well before. At risk of repeating myself.............
At risk of repeating myself (I have a feeling that I might have said that before), a frog is stuck at the bottom of a well which is 30ft deep. Every time he jumps, he goes up 3 feet and slides back 2. The question is: how many times does he have to jump to get out of the well?
Welcome back to the world of the unfortunate frog!
I duly trekked up to London on the "High Speed" (HS1) train for an appointment at 16:10. A distance of about 40 miles which takes nearly an hour! Arrived in plenty of time, checked in at the reception desk in the luxurious foyer and watched the screen for my name to come up. I thought I might be in trouble when a message flashed up that the clinic was running up to 1 hour 30 minutes late, but rationalised that advertising slogans often say things like "up to 50% off" and actually mean only 5%, so it might not be that bad.
An hour passed................
My name came up on the screen directing me to the basement reception. Progress!
Found a seat in the crowded subterranean reception and waited..................and waited......................and waited...........
Another hour passed..........
After a total of 2 hours 20 minutes, a young man with long hair called my name. A Registrar (junior doctor).
A pleasant young man who explained that the tumour was small and did not look bad, but was in a difficult place. To make sure they fully know what they are dealing with and to minimise the risk of collateral damage, they would like to do another biopsy. A more targeted biopsy than Medway had been able to do. I was disappointed in one way, but pleased that they are thinking things through. I was not so pleased with the next bit though.
Before doing the biopsy (a simple procedure involving a bit of local anaesthetic, a needle and an ultrasound device), I would need a "pre-admission check". This consists of things like an ECG to check if my heart is beating, blood pressure measurement to check that blood is being pumped around me and the obligatory blood test. This involves another trip to London and cannot be done on the day of the biopsy.
Forgive me for being cynical, but I walk about 5 miles every day with the dogs, ride a horse, wield and axe on a regular basis (no, I am not an axe murderer.........yet!) etc etc. If my heart or blood pressure have problems, I think that I would know by now. He explained that they were just being safe. There comes a point where being "safe" is ridiculous, but I am not allowed to make my own decision about risks in case the Hospital gets blamed if something goes wrong. To be honest, crossing the road in London is about a million times more risky than a biopsy, but if I want the treatment, I have to play the game and let the NHS waste public money again.
The supposedly good news is that the pre-admission check is a "drop in" service. GIven that a booked appointment can involve a wait in excess of 2 hours, I think that I might need a sleeping bag for this one.
I will let you know how I get on.
Today's tune. For some reason this came to mind as I went down the stairs to the lower reception area.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AE1ct5yEuVY
Now on to today's fun
I think that I might have mentioned the poor frog stuck in a well before. At risk of repeating myself.............
At risk of repeating myself (I have a feeling that I might have said that before), a frog is stuck at the bottom of a well which is 30ft deep. Every time he jumps, he goes up 3 feet and slides back 2. The question is: how many times does he have to jump to get out of the well?
Welcome back to the world of the unfortunate frog!
I duly trekked up to London on the "High Speed" (HS1) train for an appointment at 16:10. A distance of about 40 miles which takes nearly an hour! Arrived in plenty of time, checked in at the reception desk in the luxurious foyer and watched the screen for my name to come up. I thought I might be in trouble when a message flashed up that the clinic was running up to 1 hour 30 minutes late, but rationalised that advertising slogans often say things like "up to 50% off" and actually mean only 5%, so it might not be that bad.
An hour passed................
My name came up on the screen directing me to the basement reception. Progress!
Found a seat in the crowded subterranean reception and waited..................and waited......................and waited...........
Another hour passed..........
After a total of 2 hours 20 minutes, a young man with long hair called my name. A Registrar (junior doctor).
A pleasant young man who explained that the tumour was small and did not look bad, but was in a difficult place. To make sure they fully know what they are dealing with and to minimise the risk of collateral damage, they would like to do another biopsy. A more targeted biopsy than Medway had been able to do. I was disappointed in one way, but pleased that they are thinking things through. I was not so pleased with the next bit though.
Before doing the biopsy (a simple procedure involving a bit of local anaesthetic, a needle and an ultrasound device), I would need a "pre-admission check". This consists of things like an ECG to check if my heart is beating, blood pressure measurement to check that blood is being pumped around me and the obligatory blood test. This involves another trip to London and cannot be done on the day of the biopsy.
Forgive me for being cynical, but I walk about 5 miles every day with the dogs, ride a horse, wield and axe on a regular basis (no, I am not an axe murderer.........yet!) etc etc. If my heart or blood pressure have problems, I think that I would know by now. He explained that they were just being safe. There comes a point where being "safe" is ridiculous, but I am not allowed to make my own decision about risks in case the Hospital gets blamed if something goes wrong. To be honest, crossing the road in London is about a million times more risky than a biopsy, but if I want the treatment, I have to play the game and let the NHS waste public money again.
The supposedly good news is that the pre-admission check is a "drop in" service. GIven that a booked appointment can involve a wait in excess of 2 hours, I think that I might need a sleeping bag for this one.
I will let you know how I get on.
Today's tune. For some reason this came to mind as I went down the stairs to the lower reception area.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AE1ct5yEuVY
Tuesday 6 January 2015
Not for the squeamish..........
Somehow I knew that you would not be able to resist looking at this one! If I had titled it "Medical records" or "Just for fun" I very much doubt that you would have bothered. However, I know very few people who would be able to resist taking a look at the contents with a title like that.........I believe that the mythical "they" call it human nature.......
Unless you jumped straight to this post, you will recall that I had a groovy time the other evening looking at the images the hospital sent as part of my medical record. Today I discovered that I could download individual pictures (sad, he must have too much time on his hands I hear you say). I find them all fascinating, but don't worry I am only uploading one here. I figured that no-one would really want to see too much detail and I don't know some of you well enough (in fact I don't know some of you at all!), so just an outline. It should be below the bottom of the page so you will have to scroll down.....
Last chance to change your mind.............
Sure?
Here goes.............
Hospital again tomorrow, will try to post in the evning.
Nearly forgot the song. Could not resist this one......
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYeQUXXYvK0
Unless you jumped straight to this post, you will recall that I had a groovy time the other evening looking at the images the hospital sent as part of my medical record. Today I discovered that I could download individual pictures (sad, he must have too much time on his hands I hear you say). I find them all fascinating, but don't worry I am only uploading one here. I figured that no-one would really want to see too much detail and I don't know some of you well enough (in fact I don't know some of you at all!), so just an outline. It should be below the bottom of the page so you will have to scroll down.....
Last chance to change your mind.............
Sure?
Here goes.............
Hospital again tomorrow, will try to post in the evning.
Nearly forgot the song. Could not resist this one......
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYeQUXXYvK0
Friday 2 January 2015
Medical records
Welcome back dear reader, I hope that you had a good / fun / quiet / interesting / outrageous (delete as appropriate) seasonal break and are suitably refreshed / revived / tired out / relieved.........................
I had not meant to write another entry until after I had been back to UCLH next Wednesday, but could not resist after receiving this morning's post. You may recall that, a few weeks ago, I applied to Medway Hospital for copies of my medical records. Wonder upon wonders, they arrived today.
My reasons for wanting copies of the records were several:
The weird desire stems partly from curiosity and partly from when I was a student. I studied human physiology, so saw a lot of illustrations in textbooks of the inside of the human body, so it seems natural (to me) to want to have some illustrations that are of real life: mine.
The need for the pathology results is a little more serious. When I saw the consultant at UCLH, he told me that Medway had not sent him the pathology results. Given that he will need them before formulating a treatment plan, and not being mad keen on another prostate biopsy, I figured that it would be useful to have copies that I can give him. It might speed things up a bit as well.
I can now report that I have enjoyed a couple of fun hours playing with the MRI, CT and Bone Scan images of me. Absolutely fascinating to be able to take a virtual trip through a body...........lungs, heart, liver, kidneys..........almost sounds like a recipe for haggis! If you are curious and are not too squaemish, I would thoroughly recommend it. I am tempted to print a few of the pics to have framed and hang in various suitable places throughout the house, but I suspect that this might be frowned upon!
Back next Wednesday. Until then, one of Handsworth's finest..........well worth listening to anything you can find from this singer, she is amazing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aySxGwP56kU
I had not meant to write another entry until after I had been back to UCLH next Wednesday, but could not resist after receiving this morning's post. You may recall that, a few weeks ago, I applied to Medway Hospital for copies of my medical records. Wonder upon wonders, they arrived today.
My reasons for wanting copies of the records were several:
- Curiosity
- A weird desire to see the images generated by the various scans
- A need to have copies of the pathology reports for the appointment next week
The weird desire stems partly from curiosity and partly from when I was a student. I studied human physiology, so saw a lot of illustrations in textbooks of the inside of the human body, so it seems natural (to me) to want to have some illustrations that are of real life: mine.
The need for the pathology results is a little more serious. When I saw the consultant at UCLH, he told me that Medway had not sent him the pathology results. Given that he will need them before formulating a treatment plan, and not being mad keen on another prostate biopsy, I figured that it would be useful to have copies that I can give him. It might speed things up a bit as well.
I can now report that I have enjoyed a couple of fun hours playing with the MRI, CT and Bone Scan images of me. Absolutely fascinating to be able to take a virtual trip through a body...........lungs, heart, liver, kidneys..........almost sounds like a recipe for haggis! If you are curious and are not too squaemish, I would thoroughly recommend it. I am tempted to print a few of the pics to have framed and hang in various suitable places throughout the house, but I suspect that this might be frowned upon!
Back next Wednesday. Until then, one of Handsworth's finest..........well worth listening to anything you can find from this singer, she is amazing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aySxGwP56kU
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