Fresh from watching politicians from the leading parties, and a couple of the fringe versions, debating about the NHS (Norman Lamb won hands down, Andy Burnham lost spectacularly), I could not resist providing a quick update on my trip to the Mid Kent Oncology Centre this morning.
I was assured by Well Modulated Sarah during our conversation yesterday that I could just pop into the reception area for radiology and collect the necessary antibiotics to take in advance of next Thursday's appointment. Either she had a bit of a brainstorm (the charitable interpretation) or she lied (the less charitable view). That is certainly not what happened.
What follows is a bit detailed because it is fresh in my mind; you might want to skip to the punchline a few paragraphs down.
Did some shopping and ended up a few miles from the MKOC, so thought I would "pop in" to pick up the pills. Found the place and, miraculously for the NHS, parking was free for half an hour. Nice modern building, but no wayfinding so asked my way to the radiology reception, So far, so good........
Found a receptionist, told her that WMS said she would leave some drugs for me and gave my name. "I will call her" was the response, "we are not allowed to keep any drugs at reception, please take a seat". I took a seat expecting WMS to come whiffling around the corner any minute.
15 minutes later, a man called my name, introduced himself (I forget his name) and invited me to accompany him. Apparently he did not have the drugs either.........
Like a good "patient", I followed and was invited to sit in a consulting room where I was told that he needed to take swabs in case I had MRSA. OK, fair enough.
I was then subjected to the usual NHS explanation which, thankfully, I managed to cut short as I had no need of further explanations and just needed the antibiotics plus the instruction leaflet. By now I should have expected what came next. He brandished another NHS form and told me that I had to have a blood test; this resulted in a fairly sharp exchange:
Me: "what for"
Him: " PSA level, we do not have anything recorded in your notes"
Me: "waste of time, I already know I have prostate cancer and thought that they did too given that all this was leading up to radiotherapy. The answer will be about 13.9. Do you not have access to the notes from Medway Hospital?"
Him: " " mouth flapping in the breeze
Me: "just give me the antibiotics and leaflets and I will be on my way"
At this point he gave me two leaflets and a prescription with the instruction to take the prescription to the pharmacy to get the antibiotics. Now call me what you like, but "I will leave the tablets at reception" and what actually happened are a world apart. Someone was not telling the truth and I was pretty sure it was neither me nor the hapless chap sitting in front of me.
None of the above would really have merited a blog post, but what happened next just blew my mind...................
Less than 10 minutes to go before the free parking was due to run out, I arrived at the pharmacy, slapped the prescription on the counter and waited. "Sorry, we cannot dispense any drugs" was the instant response "our system is down".Without their computerised system, it would appear that no-one in the pharmacy department was able to take any drugs off the shelf and give them to the customers. Presumably pharmacists no longer have the use of either hands or brains.
Gave up.
I might have another go tomorrow, or might just forget the whole prophylactic antibiotic bit and take my chances next week. At least I made it back to the car with 3 minutes to spare!
For serious students of the absurd, here's a song:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3aZ-Y5YvkxY
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